The Exclusion of Motherhood

I sat there, while a 20 year old college student defiled my entire existence as a mother. Her ignorance spewed out of her mouth, like beautiful drops of poison, disguised in equality and freedom. Her words floated through the air and landed on my daughter, and she could feel the pain of it.

Out loud she said, “Thank you for sacrificing your life, mama, so I could be the incredible woman I am today, without wounds and insecurities and trauma. Thank you for depending on daddy to take care of us and giving up your desires, so that we could obtain ours.” My loving, joyful daughter starred at the 20 year old college student, with steam coming out of her ears, and then excused herself to go to the restroom to escape the eruption that was rising within her.

The college student continued to tell the young women in the room that men, essentially were useless and that they are wasting their time being in relationship with them and depending on them.

It is amazing how skewed a person’s perspective can be. Her close mindedness was wrapped in the epidemic that your way is the only way and there is no room for other perspectives. She spewed her hate over all the students there, who were all negatively affected, in some way.

It would be easy for me to lash out words that would totally obliterate her mindset and have her in tears. It is easy for me to bring people to a place of reckoning, when they diminish my life and calling. But for the first time, I felt sorrow, I felt a deep sense of sadness for her and her future children, if she chose to have any.

All of my life, my choice to be a homeschool, stay at home mom, has been diminished by other women. I have been told that I am foolish and uneducated and stupid and close minded and not enlightened. I have been excluded, shamed, made fun of and even scolded for my choice to raise my own children.

Motherhood is a gift. An incredible, wonderful gift. It is a blessing to be in a marriage with a man who loves you so deeply, that he is willing to sacrifice, so that his wife can raise his children. When a husband and wife choose to live in a one income household, especially in California, it is extremely challenging. However the rewards of being the one who actually molds and shapes your children to be amazing humans is priceless.

I did not want other hands on my children, telling them who they are or are not. I did not want other voices speaking death or rejection over my children that would disfigure their souls. I did not want their peers to dictate their worth or their place in this world. I did not want teachers to tell my children they were not enough because they did not accept the indoctrination of government agendas, through the public education system. I did not want media and social media to tell my children they could never measure up to the false images that were projected daily on the screens.

These children of mine are treasures from the living God to nurture and cherish and raise up. They are not burdens or write offs or annoyances that I needed to get rid of. They are my life. An expression of my husband and me, in love and with purpose to raise up the next generation. And I chose to be a part of their every step, every joy, every sorrow, every hope, every rejection, every dream, and every hardship. Hand in hand I walked with them, I talked with them, I gave them life to hold onto and believe in.

If you choose to work, that is your choice.

But don’t diminish or belittle my choice to stay home with my children and raise them. If you are all about women’s rights, then why do you exclude the mother’s rights to stay home with her children, as if it had no value? Don’t shame me or tell me I am a weak woman for raising my children. On the contrary, it takes great strength to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, without breaks or vacations. It takes great strength to educate your children and teach them integrity and honesty and inclusion of all people.

Some of the most outspoken people I know about discrimination, stand for equality for all… except if you are a stay at home mom. Then there is no equality, because, woman who stay home are “weak and foolish.” It such an ignorant mindset to think that women, who exercise their right to raise their own children are not intelligent. In fact, women who choose to stay home with their children are some to the most intelligent women I know, for many reasons. The biggest reason is that they are investing into the future of our city, state, country and world. They understand the big picture and sow into the lives of others, so that we can change the epidemics in this world that destroy lives.

So, the next time you think about excluded or diminishing the life of a mother, who chose to stay home and raise their children… perhaps you should do some research on how different those children are from those who were raised by society. Perhaps you should take some time and learn how to value others, who aren’t like you, and learn the value of those of us who gave up our childhood dreams for a new dream that invests in the future.

Motherhood is the greatest gift a women can receive, and actively participating in that gift is an epic adventure that shifts the atmosphere to bring new ideas and discovers that were never indoctrinated into the minds of their children. It creates open mindedness and creative thinking in ways that could never have been acquired had they sat in rooms being force fed the same agenda as every other child next to them. Motherhood is the flame that lights the fuse and watches it slowly move to the inner most parts of their child, until it explodes into purpose and calling for their lives.

I am so grateful I had the opportunity and choice to stay home with my children and be called “Mama.”

My job is done, mostly. My children are adults, married and about to graduate high school. I will no longer have minor children in my home. My job, as an active participator in their lives is over. Now I sit on the sidelines, as a coach, watching them play the game of life, and yell from the sidelines advice I have still to give as they navigate adulthood.

I will always be an advocate for mothers to stay home, it is a dying profession, which is causing a major negative impact on our society. I hope to encourage and value women who are considering or are already staying home with their children. And I will always speak out against women who belittle and exclude the beautiful calling of motherhood.