Confessions of Nobody #5-Church Insanity

Churches are requiring a bachelor’s or master’s degree in order to be considered for a position as a “pastor.” Really? So you are telling me that in order to minister to the flock you have to get education from a Bible College, by professors who are not pastors, to teach you how to run a broken, archaic, unbiblical system, that they have never run themselves.

Every day in America, the doors of a Christian church closes. Every day in America are sold into slavery. Every day in America, churches look like ghost towns, and only come alive when the pastor opens the doors for board approved activity. Really? So we determine when the Holy Spirit moves? Really? We determine the dates and hours when God is present? Really?

Every Sunday in America, thousands of churches open their doors to hear the same person talk about God, the same perspective, the same expression of worship, guilting people into coming, because if you don’t, somehow you are not living the Christian life. Every Sunday in America, less and less people gather in the buildings that says “church,” the lie we have believed for hundreds of years, that “church” is the building.

Really? Have you not even read the Bible? Really? Church is NOT a building. Really? Church is not on Sunday! It is every day, all the time, in the everyday places we go, in the ordinary things we do, with the extraordinary people we encounter. Really?

Every year hundreds of people graduate from Bible Colleges, with papers in their hands that gives them permission to be a minister or pastor. It is dipped in the false doctrine of narcissism that says you are who makes the church successful. Today the new trend of Bible College training is “church planting” to fill the void of all the churches that are closing. They are using the old, archaic, unbiblical system they were taught to plant new churches.

Really? Is this some kind of sick joke. Planting the same system of churches, but expecting different results? Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. Really? A piece of paper from other people, who say that you are educated enough, determines your ability to minister? Really? Didn’t Jesus grab the uneducated men to turn the world upside down? Didn’t Jesus say that “greater things we would do in His name?” His name. Not the name of the college, not the name of the professor, not our own name.

2 Corinthians 3-6

“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of the human hearts.”

So, we, 2000 years later, need letters of recommendation (degrees) by men on paper (tablets of stone). but the early disciples relied on the “Spirit of the Living God.” We are called to minister… PERIOD.  In our neighborhoods, communities, cities, states and even to the ends of the earth. We do not need a piece of paper that says we are able to minister. In fact, the Word of God says that we are made “strong” in our weakness, because it makes us rely on the Spirit of God.

My husband has been turned down for countless ministry “positions” simply because he does not have a piece of paper that says he was educated by men. Yet, we have letter from Christ, written on the hearts of every person, we have had the honor of ministering to. We have wisdom, beyond our years, as we have admitted our foolishness and allow God to make us wise. Churches hire young people right out of college, because they have a piece of paper that says they are wise. Really? How embarrassing for the church. How sad that we look like the world. How about use your discernment. Oh but most church leaders nowadays don’t even know what that word means. They rely on what they can see and touch. They follow the world’s pattern, instead of the pattern of God’s Word.

So, my husband and I, we continue to be a nobody. Undercover, secret agents of grace. Moving in and out of the shadows of the darkest places to bring light. We continue to be less so that He can be more. We are nothing without Christ. So in our journey as a nobody, people continue to see that Jesus is a somebody…. And that, after all is said and done is really our desire anyway.

John 3:30

I must decrease, so that He may increase.

Confessions of a Nobody #4 – Walking in the Hornet’s Nest

 There they were, holding signs that had a picture of a young man on a poster board, with words that read “CAR WASH for FUNERAL EXPENSES.” I drove past them, on my way to the thrift store to get some things for my daughter. In the car with me, were two young people who came to live with us, after some months of homelessness and drug issues.

“I think that car wash is for him, Mama T,” the young man in the back seat of my car said quietly. He was sitting next to his girlfriend and his eyes were fixed on the people on the street.

“Do you want me to stop?” I asked

“No, you can keep going,” he said.

His curly hair was getting long and his eyes began to water. The loss of yet another friend was a lot. Since he had come to live with us, he discovered that one of his brothers got locked up and the other one was on house arrest. Both under the age of 18. His girlfriend held his hand and did not say a word.

We arrived at the thrift store and got out. The couple lingered outside to smoke and my daughter and I went in to find some things for her Sadie’s Hawkins dance. When we were done, he asked me if he could go back to the car wash to see if anyone could give him and his girlfriend a ride to the candlelight vigil. So I drove back to the corner where everyone was.

When we parked the car, the group assumed that I was another customer, there to support the funeral, with a car wash. My car needed one, but I was not there for that purpose. The young man and I got out of the car, and my daughter and his girlfriend stayed inside.

There were close to 50 people there; all helping, grieving, remembering. As I walked closer to the group, all eyes watched me. The smell of marijuana was thick and the tattoos on their bodies, indicated they were from the Bulldog gang. Against the wall, one man, close to my age, tensed up to see what I was doing there. He glared with a fierce intensity as I walked up to the young man’s cousin. She had a joint in her hand and put it behind her back, so that I would not see it. She looked at me, confused, and then at the young man. The young man hugged her and she responded with, “This sucks man.”

He introduced me and I gave her a hug. Her stiff body would indicate that she did not expect my embrace; but I continued to engulf her in my Mama T way, until she relaxed. He introduced me to all the people who came around him. One by one, I hugged them and shared my condolences. Joints were being passed around and sadness hung in the air. My heart was broken for them, for the loss of a life so young.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to see a young man that looked familiar.

“Remember me?” he asked.

“You look familiar,” I said, “but I can’t place where I know you from.”

“I met you at the Hall. You were talking to me and my mom and dad. Your husband was breaking it down to my dad, remember?” he inquired.

“Oh yes, I do remember.” I said with a hug. He too knew the young man who had just passed away. One by one young people started to come around me, curious as to who I was. I clearly did not belong there, hugging and talking to this community of people. Yet, there I was: talking, embracing and encouraging them in their loss. Many of them knew Will, one of our Bible Study boys who was killed just two weeks earlier, so their sorrow was heavy. As the smoke and conversations rose in the air, the man who was standing by the wall began to soften. No longer did he stare me down with a fierceness. His posture changed, he leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed and began to talk to the people around him, eyes off me. I was told that he was the father of the young man, who had just passed. So his intense, silent inquiry was understandable to me.

There I was, me, a 41 year old, urban missionary, standing in the middle of Bulldogs from McKenzie Street. Loving them, hugging them, and being accepted by them. I looked at their faces: broken, sad, lost and angry; and had compassion for them. I had just walked into a hornets nest and was not stung. They were swarming around me, checking to see if I was a threat, to see if I had fear, to discover what my motive was. The love that was exuding out of me, from Jesus, was so powerful, that it was like smoke to a bee hive. It calmed them, and took away the threat. I did not look like them, I did not belong, but they saw Jesus in me, and although they may not be able to articulate what was happening, they were experiencing the love of Jesus.

 So many times, we, as Christians look at a situation with judgement and condemnation and miss an opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. So many times, we are stricken with fear and cannot even get out of the building called “church” to bring Jesus to the dark places. So many times, we believe the lie that people who want Jesus, will just show up to church, because, you know, it is church. We live in a post-Christian nation. People are not going to show up to a building to find hope. So many people don’t even know who Jesus is. A lot of people see Christianity as an elitist, judgmental, controlling organization that has no room for sinners or the broken or the lost.

The young man, who lives with my family, continued talking to his cousin and then asked me if I could take him to his Grammie’s house, which was a few blocks away from the candlelight vigil. He wanted to pick up the letter his brother had sent him from the Hall. I drove into Bulldog territory, filled with joy that I was shining a light in a dark place. I gave him a sympathy card for his friend’s mom. He looked at it with bewilderment, as this gesture was a middle class occurrence that he was unaccustomed to.

“If you don’t want to give her the card, you don’t have to. But it’s what we do when someone we know dies.” I said.

“Oh, okay,” he understood. “No, I like it, I think she will too.”

He got out of the car, with his girlfriend and walked up to the door of his Grammie’s house. My daughter and I drove away. She looked at me and smiled. She too felt the joy of just being the light. Not preaching, not condemning, not expecting… Just loving, just giving, just being the hands and feet of Jesus.

If only more people with the light inside of them, walked in the dark; to give hope, to show love, to be present. They are looked at as the scum of the earth, a gang, this gang. But they are human beings with souls and hearts, who need Jesus. Open your heart to those you look down on. Give your hand to those, who you think are beneath you. Share the love of Jesus to those who do not know him.

You will find that LOVE is the most powerful weapon on earth. The LOVE of Jesus, shown to a broken world, is the ONLY thing that will change people, change our city, our state, our nation, our world. No amount of programs, laws, events, organizations will do that. You may think you are a NOBODY, that has nothing to offer this broken world… but if you know Jesus, if you have experienced his love in your own life… you are a somebody- who has the most powerful weapon on earth- AGAPE LOVE.

GO… go and change the world… by showing God’s love… start with one person, today. You will be amazed at how powerful your act of love is. It starts with one, then another, then another.

Matthew 11:19

Church on Wheels... Why I am who I am Part 3

After my mom found faith, she was desperate to give it to us. My father, a devout atheist objected to such nonsense and would not subject himself to such foolishness. My mother, persistent and stubborn found a way to get me to church. She would stay home on Sundays with my father and brother and I was put on the Liberty Baptist church bus that came around my neighborhood to pick up kids.

I don’t have a lot of vivid memories of my time with both parents, but this series of memories is the most vivid of them all. In fact, I would say that the very foundation of my faith was established on those long bus rides to and from church. It was not in Sunday school or church. It was not the crafts or snacks they gave us. It was the relationships I built with the leaders and kids. You see the bus rides were not structured or strict; they were not regimen or mundane. They were full of life!

Songs were sung and stories were told and laughter raised at funny puppets that were used to entertain us. Individual attention was given to those, who were downcast; empowerment was bestowed upon those who were charismatic; love was given to those who were broken hearted; and encouragement was given to those who were lost. I honestly do not remember church or Sunday school. I do however, remember the bus rides.

I wish I could tell those volunteers, who may have deemed there service miniscule, how huge their sacrifice was. I wish I could tell the woman who used to encourage me to pray at 5 years old for my mom and dad that it became the core of my faith. I wish I could tell the man who did the funny voices for the puppets how much joy it brought me. I wish I could tell the bus driver, who endured the loud screaming and laughing children, what a blessing the service was. And to the couple who played their guitar and sang songs with us, on the hour long bus ride to the church; it transfigured my DNA to reflect Jesus, the son of the living God.

It was essentially a church on wheels. They could have drove us around for an hour or so, then dropped us back off at home, without ever stepping foot in “church” and I would have loved Jesus and followed him the rest of my life. I actually accepted Christ on that bus. I asked the lady who used to sit in the back how I could be a Christian and she prayed with me right then and there. I was baptized not long after in the “church” without wheels.

Ironically, that way of church has been in me since. It hit me like a ton of bricks… that is why I feel uncomfortable in traditional churches with walls and pews. That is why I prefer a church that is fluid and moves and changes with the spirit. That is why I struggle with the way modern day churches look. I was taught by example how to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. It didn’t come with a degree or title or certificate. It came with purpose, it came with sacrifice, and it came with LOVE!

As I grew up in “churches without wheels”, I became increasingly disappointed and angry at the irreverent behavior towards this pure, loving, funny, selfless Jesus I had come to know through these nameless ambassadors of Jesus Christ. The pastors and leaders waved their titles and degrees over the heads of those who attended, lording their authority over them. There was abuse of authority, pride, deception, manipulation and elitism running rampant in the place that was supposed to give just the opposite.

I saw my mom and step dad bow down to the god of religion, being deceived by the seductive voice of eloquent speakers, who used the Bible as a reference. I saw my brother being completely emasculated and demeaned and belittled and devalued by the “so-called” church leaders, who protected to malice of the pastors kids against my brother; rather than extend the hand of mercy and love and justice to him. I saw idolatry and adultery; doctrine of man and excessive productions; all in the name of Jesus. I began to hate the church and what it stood for. I wanted nothing to do with the church, but everything to do with Jesus.

I married a man, who knew nothing of church expectations or mandates; a man who came to know Jesus in his 20’s. He was in love with Jesus. He loved the Word of God and the grace and forgiveness that was given to him and the joy he found from following Him. We began a journey of reconciliation to the church.

What did it look like, how would we get there, how could we ensure its authentic nature and foundational truths? From two extremes we pushed and we sought and we studied and we prayed and we fasted to determine what the Lord would have for us. For most of our married years we chose to just do church at home. Teach our kids the truth about Jesus Christ and show them love.

It proved to be a path that was successful. We would encounter people at sports events or the park or the grocery store or school or neighbors and inevitably would share Jesus with them. Our home had a door that became revolving and people would come and go daily for prayer or Bible Study or fellowship or help. We did not need a big fancy church with a huge mortgage to engage our community. We were doing it the New Testament way. Through encounters that the Lord arranged.

I was content with this “church on wheels” way of living and would not change a thing… but the Lord had a different plan.

Painting a Picture...

Last week I wrote a blog called, "Sunday Morning Dread" where I express my struggle with the American church. 

Someone commented on that blog and below you will see the comment and my response. 

"Your brush is very broad, Teresa. The American church is a big place. Are you sure that you don't men the local part of it that you are involved with?"-comment

My Response:

If I meant the local church I am involved in, I would have said that. But I clearly stated "THE AMERICAN CHURCH" The "broad brush" is for a purpose. I have gone to churches all over The West Coast, and Texas. I have friends, who go to churches all over this country and it is not hard to watch a church service anywhere in his nation with the advancement of technology and some online streaming. 

If you study the history of the American church, by in large, you will discover that almost every church in America has Catholic roots, and the Catholic Church is rooted in the Jewish Priesthood.  Then the Catholic Church  split and then split and then split again and again again since Jesus. Even Vineyard has Carholic roots. 

Let me bring you back to First century Christians. There were two Types of believers... Those as recorded in the Binle and those who were Pharisees, who believed Jesus, but tried to re-establish the priesthood in the New Covenant. The result was Catholism. The two groups flourished together and separate of one another. 

By the time The Roman Empire had peaked, Constantine had become a believer of Jesus Christ and had written a decree that Christianity be the National religion. He turned the pagan temples into places of worship and like the Pharisees, established a level of government hierarchy in the church to maintain control. This was very similar to the Priests of the pagan temples.

After Rome fell, the Dark Ages were upon this world and faith in Jesus was scarce. The Catholic Church maintained a level of Political influence and survived. Most expressions of Christianiy died at that point, because people were mandated to sacraficing to the pagan gods of that time. So true remnant believers went underground. 

By the time of the Rennaisance, believers began to surface and the Catholic Church would not allow any Bible to be copied unless in Latin, so the masses believed what was told to them and the priesthood beast grew and grew until it looked demonic! 

In steps Martin Luther, who broke off from the Catholic  church but still maintained similarities. Then other denominations broke of from Lutheranism, and then broke off from those .. Etc.. All having roots in Catholism. 

One of he first noted "Remnant" church to surface, was The Pilgrims  The Pilgrims longed for a true Biblical expression of worship that did not tie them to any type of governmental control of religion. 

The government control at that time was King James, ie. The King James Bible. The Pilgrims were persecuted so fled to America to be able to have the freedom to worship God in the "true" Biblical form. 

They worshipped in America without any interference until the Puritans arrived. The Puritans were a group, who like many groups before them, wanted a reformation of the religion they were a part of. Unlike the Pilgrims who wanted NOTHING to do with any kind of "religion", the Puritans wanted to change things about their religion that benefitted them. 

The Puritans eventual exerted ultimate power and authority of religion and drove out and/or persecuted those who did not comply with their religious viewpoints. So, once again, the "priesthood" way in the Christian church came to America. 

From the Puritans, so many denominations broke off. Eventually the Catholics and Lutherans made their way to America and even more denominations broke off. Even today, our Non-denominational churches are, in fact, a denomination. 

Most churches follow the "Priesthood" pattern in the church, which was supposed to die when Jesus did. He was the final High Priest coming in the perfect Mechezledeck Priesthood. The final sacrifice for the atonement of our sins! No more temple, no more priests, no more sacrifices! 

Yet, almost every church in America follows this man made structure in the organized church today! There should not be 1 person over the church! It is supposed to be collaborative, as demonstrated in Corinthians! Jesus is the Head of the church, Ephesians says, not a man! 

Please give me Biblical truth that states we are supposed to sit and listen to one man talk about the Bible. And please use the scripture in context. Don't give me scripture about Paul preaching in the temple, because that was not church! That was evangelism to the Jews and Gentiles, who did not know Jesus! 

Please give me Biblical reference that says communion is done without a meal. Please give me scripture that says we are supposed to tithe post resurrection. Please give me scripture that says we are supposed to have an order of service that is the same each Sunday. And please give me scripture that says we are supposed to go to Bible college and get a degree to be worthy/qualified/ equipped to minister the gospel. 

The problem is... People in this country are so programmed to believe that the way we do church is correct, that they don't even question it. People are so programmed to believe that the pastor is at the head that they don't even know that Jesus is the head of the church and the cornerstone/foundation of the church. People are so programmed to believe that worship is music and songs that they miss out on the intimate encounters with the living God in the everyday, mundane tasks of our life. People are programmed to believe that God is an emotional experience that they can't even grasp what a a relationship with God looks like. People are so dependent on the programming, that they don't know how to depend on the Holy Spirit. People are so used to the church looking like the world... Corporate America... That they are walking away by the masses. People are so used to powerless doctrine that get slaughtered when the enemy comes. 

I could go on and on about how the American church has gone so far astray that people who make a commitment to be a Remnant Believer of Jesus Christ are looked at by the "priesthood churches" as dangerous. 

It is to be expected though, the Bible does warn about it...

" for the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because  they  have itching ears, will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn those ears away from the truth and be turned aside to fables. 2 Timothy 4:3-4

Ephesians 4:11-16  and Acts 2:42-43 pretty much sums it up! 

My prayer for the American church  is that we may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that we may walk worthy of The Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in very good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has delivered us from he power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.

Colossians 1:9-14

Sunday Morning dread...

I wish Sunday mornings in church buildings across America consisted of a family style breakfast, where everyone sits around tables and eats and drinks and talks about their week. Where many different people from many walks of life got up and shared what The Lord revealed to them that week in Spirit or in the Word. 

Where the spiritually mature watched over to be sure truth was spoken, but didn't find their identity in a title or position. 

Where people prayed for one another while they are eating and drinking and the results of those prayers were healing; emotionally, spiritually and physically. 

Where worshiping in song happened after Acts 2:42-43 took place, and it was not limited to the program or time, but went as long or short as the spirit led. Where people who don't worship in song could stay and pray or fellowship or minister to or be ministered to by the people they are breaking bread with! (Which is actually communion, not the wafer grape juice nock off version)

I wish churches in America looked like what the Bible says they should look like and not how man says it should look like. I wish Bible colleges stopped giving people papers that says they are pastors, when in fact only God determines who is equip to lead. I wish churches put less stake on paper and more on discernment of character. 

I wish pastors stopped teaching tithing and instead expected giving as a by product of loving Jesus. Where people gave as much or as little as they felt lead and they did not have to measure their gift by a number or a percentage. 

I wish churches in America were filled with gang bangers, prostitutes, homeless, single moms, Adulterers, porn addicts, drug addicts, alcoholic, abusive and abused people, so that they could receive the saving grace and love of a Savior, who already died innocently on a cross for them to experience freedom from the bondage they are in; so they could be loved by those who already know the love of Jesus. So they would feel like the most beautiful, valued people on earth! 

I wish the American church embraced other denominations besides their own, collaborated with with other churches, ministries and individuals who have the common goal of being people to the saving grace of Jesus Christ; instead of competing with one another. 

I wish I could see Jesus lived out in the churches as he promised us: "Greater things will you do in my name." GREATER THINGS!!! Meaning greater than what He did in the Bible? Do you see "greater things" happening at your church? 

Then....

I wouldn't wake up on Sunday morning dreading going to a building that says it is Christian, but is really just another place to promote self and agendas. 

I wouldn't dread worshipping in song and listening to singers who have no concept of the heart of worship! I wouldn't be irritated by a man or woman who  decides that 3 songs is enough.

I wouldn't have to listen to one man over and over again, giving me their perspective of God. 

Do people really think that the nature of God can be summed up by one person! If so, we serve a small limited God! No one person can clearly communicate God, which is why it is mandatory that multiple people share their perspective of how God loves them, so we, as a community can have a more well rounded view of the Creator of this Universe! 

I was in church last week and listened to the 20 year veteran pastor talk about vanity. I would rather hear the guy who was sitting in front of me tattooed up with gang symbols! I would love to hear his take on vanity! He was weeping during worship, because you could see it was deep for him! It was not an obligation or duty! Jesus Christ was his life!

Sigh...

So off I go to some building, where I will reach deep to grab whatever crumb of the Word I am given today, that generally lacks passion or conviction. I will worship in song, with everything in me and be told later by my kids that people were staring at me. My husband will leave during the sermon and go outside to pray for the pastor... My kids will look at me with their "really" mom faces, because we have taught them the truth about what the Bible says about church and they are wondering why we are there.

And we will do our best to love, serve and worship in a broken place called -the American church!

Intensity

Intense

in•ten•si•ty (ɪnˈtɛn sɪ ti)

n., pl. -ties.

1. the quality or condition of being intense.

2. great energy, strength, concentration, or vehemence, as of activity.

3. a high or extreme degree, as of cold or heat.

4. the degree or extent to which something is intense.

5. a high degree of emotional excitement; depth of feeling.

6. the strength or sharpness of a color due esp. to its degree of freedom from admixture with its complementary color.

7. Physics. magnitude, as of energy or a force per unit of area, volume, time, etc.

A word used to describe me. A word I use to describe myself.

I see it at a compliment, but have discovered that in most cases, it is not.

I had to seriously pray about this continual attack of my character… I became angry and frustrated at the notion that, number 1, people think that they have a right to condemn the way God created me and number 2, people consider intensity as “intimidating, aggressive and what was the other word used… non-submissive.” So you can imagine, as an intense, raw, bold person I had a very long conversation with the Lord and some of my closest sisters in Christ.

This morning, after a long night of no sleep, I began to pray again and the most amazing thing happened… clarity and peace shed light on the subject.

When you are a survivor of divorce, an attempted kidnapping, sexual abuse, attempted rape, verbal abuse, physical abuse, demonic attack, church abuse and minister to people who have experienced ritualistic abuse, sex slavery, satanic abuse, spousal abuse, adultery, extreme bullying, and the aftermath of abortion… you kinda become intense…

The people, who abused me, did so by hiding, sneaking, intimidating and threatening… so when people hide behind religion and churchianity and control...intensity naturally rises up inside me. This kind of behavior gives me all kinds of red flags. I do not want to be associated with the kind of people who hide behind religion to abuse people. People who hide their true identities are cowards and I want no part of that kind of life! My intensity comes from persistently pursuing a life of blamelessness, so that I will not be likened to the condemning “Churchianity Christians.”

I am intense…but it is only an attribute of who I am. It is not WHO I am. When I feel like the church, who is supposed to give life and freedom through Christ, brings condemnation and control to the masses, I get a little intense.

Jesus was intense. I know a lot of people don’t see that Jesus. I know that Jesus is not taught in the church; it was His intensity that angered the Pharisees. It was His intensity that raised Lazarus from the dead. It was His intensity that caused blood to seep through his pores in the garden of Gethsemane. It was His intensity that made a whip, flipped tables and pushed people out of the temple. Jesus was intense. His intensity was viewed as dangerous and aggressive to those who could not control him. His intensity was considered blasphemous to the religious leaders and they were threatened by His passion to change the world.

Bill and I have been charged with similar “crimes.” We have been accused of being intimidating and “taking over” and not doing what “pastors” say. When in reality, we are passionately obeying God in areas that are unconventional or outside the comfort zone of the complacency of the church. We have been accused of “hurting people’s feelings” because we spoke the truth about the church. When in fact, we did not hurt feelings, the TRUTH hurt feelings. People do not want to be challenged in their faith. Even with monumental evidence that the Christian church is slowly dying in this country, Christians do not want to be held accountable for their complacent faith.

I “intensely” advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves or are afraid to advocate for themselves… Martin Luther was intense. Rosa Parks was intense. Martin Luther King Jr. was intense. Caesar Chavez was intense. Mother Teresa was intense. Their intensity changed the face of this planet. They all suffered as a result of their intense conviction of truth in the face of religious and political persecution. They advocated for people, stood in the face of slander, and ultimately suffered for their boldness.

My sister in Christ shared, “Jesus said, ‘we are to share in his sufferings.’ So you have to know, Teresa that you are going to suffer. But in the end, if you do the will of your father, you will be blessed.”

 Jesus was not only intense, he was also kind, compassionate, loving, convicting, forgiving, life giving, truthful, inclusive, world changing.

I am not just intense. I am so much more…

But if you only see me as intense, aggressive, intimidating, and loud…

Chances are you are threatened by the TRUTH that I express through living a transparent life.

Chances are you are fearful of my raw and authentic approach to life, that lets people into the deepest places of my heart, because you hide the deepest places of yours for fear that people might see who you really are and not like it.

Chances are you afraid of the world changer DNA that is inside of me, because it means that what you are comfortable in will be challenged or changed.

Here’s the deal… There really is no middle ground. You either love me or hate me. I am okay with that. That is how God made me. That is who I am. There is a reason why prophets of old were killed. Once they delivered the message of God that was not pleasant, they wanted someone to suffer for making them feel uncomfortable, or for hurting their feelings; usually it was the messenger. You know… “Don’t kill the messenger” or “I am just the messenger” comes from the prophets who delivered unpleasant messages to people and then suffered as a result of the message.

You may not like what I have to say; you may not like my unconventional ways; you may not like the delivery; you may not like my intensity; you may not like my honest, brutal, authentic approach to life. But here’s the deal… before you slander me, gossip about me, make assumptions about me and reprimand me about who I am in Christ… YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SOME HARD CORE BIBLICAL TRUTHS TO BACK YOUR ACCUSATIONS! I really don’t care about your religious opinions… I only care about pleasing and serving my Jesus… NO MATTER THE COST! And believe me... the cost is great! Just read my blog.

This in no way means that I am perfect or without fault. It just means that my imperfections and faults will be publicly expressed in verbal or written form, to share with the world that we have an opportunity to live blameless lives through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. I try to share my faults, shortcomings, fears, failures, joys, accomplishments and love with the masses through writing in a very raw way to encourage others to do the same. My hope is that the more people who have nothing to hide, the more healing can take place. The more healing that takes place, the more whole people become. The more whole people become, the more effective they are. The more effective people are, the more a community benefits. The more a community benefits, the more people will feel loved. And the more people feel loved, the better the world becomes…and the safer people feel about being real.

If I offend you… perhaps the Lord is trying to challenge your identity. Perhaps the Lord wants you to determine why you are being offended by someone who delights in being raw, authentic, intense and passionate…

I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed of who God created me to be. I am comfortable in my own skin and thankful that God has delivered me from the bondage of trying to be something I am not to please others… I exist to please God! Not YOU! This statement only makes religious people feel uncomfortable… not broken, hurting, real, authentic people.

I had a conversation with myself about people’s opinion of me… turns out I am okay with who I am in Christ.

The Overlooked Harvest...

In the deep crevices of society, young adults live. They are not looked at by society of people who have much value. Rather they are viewed as dependent  wild, reckless, immature, lacking wisdom, irresponsible. They gather together to find comfort or purpose amongst themselves. Some of these misfits find their purpose in things that society praises, while most are looked down upon as rebellious clowns who suck the life out of our society. The athletes are praised, the academic achiever honored, the musician patted on the back. Yet they are still a reclusive group, given very little tools to succeed and condemned when they don’t.

I see this group of misfits and I love them. I love their wild and reckless hearts, love the risks they take because they lack wisdom, I love that they still are dependent on us to love them and guide them and direct them. There is a freedom they possess that we, as a society, have lost. They are still at a place where they don’t have to conform, where they can do anything without the responsibilities of our society weighing down on them. They are a powerful bunch, these young people, who have in their hearts the desperate desire to make a difference in the world to be someone of value. Their hearts need only to be captivated by the love of Jesus; not the law of religion, not the condemnation of the followers of Christ, not the cheap knock offs of the gospel. Their minds need only to be challenged by the truth of the Bible; not the crumbs that are given, not the gimmicks that are preached, not the satellite message that lacks intimacy; Their wills need only to be trained by servants of the most high God; not leaders who are glorified, not manipulators who control, not religion that condemns.

Imagine the power this youth culture could obtain. Contemplate the reason the Lord made this age, this youthful mindset, where nothing is impossible and being invincible is the norm. It is not childish or foolish! It is planned by the Creator of our souls. He knew this age brought about destruction and foolishness and boldness and wildness. There is a purpose. Still these young adults, ages 13-25 are overlooked, forgotten in the church.

On the news the other day, there was a wanted headline for 4 young men, who had held a woman at gunpoint. They tried to kidnap her, but she resisted and the 4 young men high jacked her car. They are wanted for grand theft auto, attempted kidnapping and attempted murder. The ages of the young men… 13, 13, 14 & 17. When I read the ages and saw their pictures my heart broke! I was flabbergasted at the thought of a 13 year old boy holding a woman at gunpoint! 13 years old! It made me think about what these young people are capable of. Yes, destruction is what these boys brought, but let me change your perspective. Imagine if the truth and love of Jesus Christ drove theses young men… the destruction in their being would not go away, however, the focus of what was to be destroyed would. Instead of bringing destruction to other people, they would bring destruction to the kingdom of darkness…. Instead of holding a woman at gunpoint, they would hold the enemy with the weapons of God and bring freedom to a woman, through the power of Jesus’ love.

God created the wild and reckless behavior in the youth to benefit His kingdom! King David was one of those young men. His lack of restraint and wild faith turned a nation upside down. He killed a bear and a lion with his own hands, not very much wisdom, if you ask me. I would have flipped out on my teenage son, even if he did kill it! Yet, David trusted God with a reckless abandon that determined the rest of his life. He walked out to a battlefield and with nothing but a little faith and a lot of risk, killed a giant and started a fire that drove the Israelites to defeat the Philistines. Not even the king or his older brother, who were older and wiser dared to do such a feat. It was not until David became a man that he sinned against God.  There is also Daniel; taken into captivity by the Babylonians. He was a young man without blemish, good—looking, gifted in wisdom, possessing knowledge and quick in understanding. (Daniel 1:4) He, in his youth had wisdom, but still took a great risk by opposing the king’s provisions and requesting that they only eat vegetables and water, as to not defile himself or that of his friends with the king’s delicacies. In the end, his risk proved to be fruitful and he and his friends were more full and fit than the older men who were eating meat and drinking wine. As a result, the Lord blessed Daniel and his friends knowledge and skill in literature and wisdom and understanding in visions and dreams.

The Lord used their wild and reckless nature to glorify him!

So why then, can’t we do the same with our youth? Why then can’t we empower our young people in their culture to DO what they are already DOING, but changing the focus and the purpose of their lives?

There are many studies that show that the youth are leaving the church in a mass exodus. They are looking for purpose, they are looking for love, and they are looking for a cause. WE HAVE THE TRUE PURPOSE RIGHT HERE IN OUR HANDS, WE KNOW THE TRUE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST AND THERE IS NO GREATER CAUSE THAN SAVING LOST SOULS FROM ETERNAL DAMNATION.

The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few.

 Matthew 9:37

The churches in American have before them, fields and fields that go on for miles and miles of a ripe harvest of youth, who are starving for love and purpose. The churches have dozens of programs, lots of resources, congregations full of spiritual fat believers who either sit in a pew or seek after their own title or power of position. The churches cater to the saved but do not seek after the lost. The focus, the visions, the meetings, the money, the power is not toward the youth, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN PROVEN AND TESTED THAT THAT AGE GROUP IS THE MOST UN-REACHED AND THE AGE GROUP THAT IS LEAVING BY THE DROVES. The “Youth Groups” are there, in most cases, as an obligatory place to appease the adults who attend the church. In most churches, the “Youth Ministry” is given one of the smallest budgets and is required to do much of their own fundraising. I have not met many people who are youth ministers who are called to be youth ministers, but rather a place that is a stepping stone to climb up the corporate church ladder to a higher position in the church. There has not been much adjustment in the church, since I was a youth. It pretty much looks the same, spiritually. Sure the postmodern/emerging church has changed the colors, turned the lights down, added some coffee and candles, but it is the same!

In most cases more focus, resources and money is given to the Children’s Church dept. then to the youth. When, in fact, elementary aged kids HAVE to come to church with their parents. Even the youth that HAVE to come to church have learned to easily disengage while sitting in a seat being sold the cheap knock off of the truth.

WAKE UP CHURCH!!! Where is the harvest? Do you know what happens to a harvest that is NOT reaped? Have you seen what happens to the crop? The fruit falls to the ground, rots and becomes part of this world. How many youth are longing to be harvested, but just falls to the ground, rots and becomes a part of this world?

WAKE UP CHURCH! Where is the harvest? Do you know what happens to a harvest that IS reaped? It gets put into a basket with other fruit, bright and full of life and become nourishment to the world.

What is your church doing to reap the harvest that is plentiful?