Cyber Coffee, God, Star Wars

I got up to spend time with God this morning and have "Cyber Coffee" with my friend Ally via Marco Polo.

I am still tired, processing what God wanted me to embrace this morning to share.

As I was talking with her, I noticed in the background the tree, not decorated, on one side of my head... And the pile of fall decorations, needing to be put away on the other side of my head. In my hand, the Star Wars "Darth Vader" mug.

I usually don't pay attention to things like this, but God highlighted the scene. I took a picture in all my "just got out of bed" BEAUTY! 😂😂😂

The Lord showed me why he highlighted this scene:

You are "in between" seasons He said. Not fully immersed in one and not fully out of the other. You are about to be fully immersed in this next season... Get ready!

I was processing this concept. When the seasons change, my decorations in my house change. It is a process. I have to get the fall boxes out and put the fall stuff away... Then I have to get the Christmas boxes out and start to organize what I am going to use and what is going to stay in the boxes.

It is the same with us... There is a process and it takes time to pack one season up and fully embrace the next season. And everything changes. Not just the decorations. What we eat, how we dress, what we do ( based on the weather) how we celebrate...

I was wondering if the Vader mug represented anything or if I was reaching... But God told me that in the middle of all of it, was this thing that has always been constant in my life, shaping me... Star Wars.

It may seem weird, but we all have some kind of outside influence that God uses to help shape us... Sports, jobs, ministry, hobbies, fandom... Whatever.

Star Wars represented this constant state of change (all these movies, books, seriers, theme park) yet the same story, the same characters, the same outcome.

God was reminding me that He is constant in the changing of seasons. But He has the same story, the same characters, the same outcome. How the story impacts our lives, will be different and individual to each of us.

I saw the original Star Wars with my parents in 1977. I have a 1978 star wars calendar that has the words "Teresa's"s 4th" written in my mom's handwriting on July 23rd. Its been a part of my life story since I was 3 years old. The way it impacted me and my family is such sweetness...

But for someone else it may have impacted them differently!

Today I want to encourage you not to rush the change of seasons, rather enjoy the process of transition. Sit back, drink your coffee in your raw state of being and delight in the constant presence of our loving father, no matter what season or transition of season you are in!

nothing...

Writers block…

Too much to say, too much on my mind, not able to get it out. Starting and not finishing, exhausted at the content of which my heart bleeds onto the page.

“Transition” is the name of the season, “Letting Go” is the tagline.

Tossed to and fro in a whirlwind of emotions and deep, intense realities.

I am a woman.

I am a wife.

I am a mom.

I am a sister.

I am an auntie.

I am a friend.

I am letting go of so much. Wanting to hold on tight. My hands are open and the agony of seeing those things I hold dear float away is extreme.

There is a numbness inside that keeps me sane. A place of surrender I must go to. My mind is engulfed by the stagnant stench of transition and I wait. Watching for something to change. Expecting something to move. Hoping for God to intervene.

So much to say, so much to process, yet the words are jumbled up in a web of knots. All tangled together in a bundle of too much. All I can get out is what you see here.

Still, I sit… looking at the screen, trying to formulate words to express my heart….

NOTHING

A blank canvas, staring me in the face. Vast emptiness awaiting creative expression. My intention is to create a masterpiece, but I cannot even muster up enough energy to put my hand to the canvas.

So I sit here, in the silence of my home, when dreams fill the minds of my family and weariness wrecks my bones. I sit here, wanting to get it out, let it go, but it is stuck to me like static.

The past bubbles up to the surface and the present collides with it.

Empty space. Quiet. Stillness. Peace.

My body aches from exhaustion. I will try this sleep thing again. Hoping my dreams are filled with answers. Longing to see the next step.

Waiting in the midst of transition….