“Nothing that man purposes to do will be impossible for them.” – God (Genesis 11:6b)
The human brain is incredibly intellectual. The capacity to store, retrieve and formulate information and ideas is limitless. At the beginning of time, without internet or billions of people on earth to share information with, man began to build a tower to heaven. God created us with the capacity to do the “impossible” in our own purposes. Our own will and intellect and strength can, according to God, can accomplish anything we purpose. It boggles my mind. The amount of power, we as humans have. God gave us the capacity to literally do the impossible.
Yet, in that great power, we have been given an opportunity to sacrifice our own purposes, our own wills, our own desires and partner with God instead. In partnering with the living God, the one who created us, who gave us life, we are denying our own purposes and carrying out God’s purposes. It is a great battle. “Not my will, but your will be done.” Surrendering our will allows the LORD to do more than the impossible… it allows Him to reach his creation, it allows him to talk with his beloved humans, it gives Him power to perfect us, it give Him the power to carry out His plans through us.
Our intellectual power, interferes with the work of God. For in it, we believe that it is through us things are accomplished, that by us change is made. “We are God’s workmanship, created for good works in Christ, He calls us to offer of ourselves, a living sacrifice.” We were created for good works- but good works are temporal, if they are not rooted in the will of God. That is why we are called to sacrifice ourselves. We are literally putting our own agendas, ideas, purposes, plans, intentions on the altar, so that God’s agenda’s, ideas, purposes, plans and intentions can be carried out through us.
It’s no wonder why Jesus chose fishermen as his first disciples. Hard working, uneducated, simple men; their plans were to fish, make money for their families, repeat. They did not sit in the temple and get into long debates about the scriptures. They did not spiritualize events or actions or make plans to start a ministry or organization. It was easy for them to adopt the will of Jesus into their being. Jesus simply said, “Follow Me” and they did. They immediately subjected their will to His. Step by step, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, the disciples learned “not my will, but yours.”
They experienced the power of partnering with God. God always provided for them. There was no earthy need that was not met. Ministry happened organically. It was not planned in their hearts, it was embraced by their hearts. The plan has already been written. The organization has already been established. The mission and vision has already been laid out. All we have to do is “Follow Him.”
We were challenged with “Following Jesus” in 2008. Our life was in chaos and I heard the LORD say, “Sell all you have and follow me.” “All I have Jesus? What about my kids, and how am I going to live?” I told my husband what the Lord told me and he said, “Well let’s just start selling what we have until God tells us to stop.” So we did. We started with the extra “stuff” we owned. One by one, items began to leave our house. It was hard, sometimes, I held back and cried about “things” I was letting go of. It purged us. It stretched us out of the American mindset that we need “stuff.” It delivered us from the bondage of money and set us free from the expectations of others.
The hardest thing for me to sell was my kids Fisher Price toys. I put them out and brought them back in numerous time. It felt like I was selling my children’s childhood. Tossing it out with the wind. My dramatic flair, I am sure delights the LORD, as I emotionally embraced plastic toys and tied them to my children’s worth. I sobbed. I put them all out to sell. A family came by and looked at the toys. They were a young family, with four children under the age of 6. I could tell life had been hard for the mom. The dad too, looked exhausted and worn from the realities of life. “How much for all?” She asked. Now you have to realize. I come for a toy collector family. I know what toys are worth now and in the future. I told her $75 for the whole set. (I had a lot of Fisher Price toys) Her face dropped and she looked at her husband. He too seemed devastated. It hit me. “These are Fisher Price toys,” I thought in my head, “Not some Dollar Tree crap that has no worth.”
They walked away from the toys and looked at some of the other things we had. After they were done looking around, they told their children it was time to go. Three of their children were playing with all the toys. They were laughing and make believing, using different voices and animal sounds as they acted out the scenes unfolding in plastic wonder. Their children begged their parents for these toys, like they were the latest items on the shelf. “Please!” The pleaded for the toys. The parents saw the wonder in their children’s eyes. I saw the hurt in the parent’s eyes that they could not afford even garage sale toys for their babies. “Would you consider selling them separately?” The dad asked. Of course I would NOT sell them separately! That was part of the value. A collection of toys, well cared for is where the value is at. “I am only selling as a set” was my answer.
Then the LORD spoke. “Teresa, let go of the things of this earth and follow me.” “But LORD, you told us to sell all we have, I am not going to just give things away!” A statement I wished I did not say. As the words formulated in my mind, I knew what was coming next. I heard the words that were harder than sell all you have. “I want you to give the whole set to them, as a gift from Me,” I heard the LORD say. I was fuming… steaming mad. “What?!?!? No, I am not giving these toys away, no way no how.” My thoughts were consumed in a temper tantrum with God. I was livid. I was already doing what He asked and it was HARD!!! Now you want me to just give away something I value and get nothing in return?
“Here you go,” I said to the parents, “You can have these for your children.” I handed them the box. “We love these, but we just can’t pay for them.” I took credit for the action and said, “Don’t worry about the cost, they are a gift.” The dad fumbled in his wallet and took out some fives and tens and ones to pay me. “This is not a gift from you, it is a gift from Me,” The LORD reminded me. “No,” I said, “put your money away. These toys are a gift from God. He told me to give them to you, so you know just how much He loves you and your family. That he cares about the littles details of your heart.” My children handed the bags of toys to their children, standing there in awe, that I was just giving away these toys I had made them value.
Both of the parents began to cry. The mom, began to weep. She was overwhelmed by the love of God. Her face lightened and a burden lifted. She hugged me and told me that she did not know what to say. The dad was humbled, but not shamed. He felt honored, I think, that the LORD was there, in his midst. They both began to tell me that they could come by and pay me in payments for the toys. Again, I reminded them, that these were a gift from God. A cool light breeze swept across my front yard. I sensed the Holy Spirit covering them with hope, filling me with joy and our children with love. It was incredible. They got into the car and drove away. I never saw them again, and honestly, if I saw them in a crowd, one day, I would not even recognize them. As they drove down our street and turned the corner, I sighed a life changing sigh.
This event transfigured my soul. It changed my mindset and belief about myself and others. It helped me to see the stumbling blocks in my life and blessed me with the opportunity to partner with what God was doing. I will never know this side of heaven how my reluctant obedience affected this family. I will never see how those little plastic toys impacted this family. I do however see how this event changed me and my family. It was the beginning of a long journey to offer of ourselves a living sacrifice.
After that, the LORD said, “You are done. You do not have to sell anymore.” We closed up the yard sale and started to pack what remained in boxes. For the first time in my life, I felt I could trust God with our stuff, our finances, and our money. I discovered, that in reality, it is not mine anyway, but His, and I am just a caretaker of these things. Our family learned how to surrender our will and agendas. Even in the midst of obeying God, by selling all we had, I still had my own agenda. That $75 was going to be used for my own children. But God had a greater plan. I can only speculate that this event for the family was life changing. It may not have been. It may have only been a seed that was planted; or a weed that was pulled.
For us though, it started us on the journey of “Not my will but your will.” An adventure that has brought us to this place. The place of organic ministry flowing. Intense advocacy on God’s behalf as He presents it. Trusting God, no matter what our eyes see.
“With God, all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
