Would love your input...

Germany	95
Russia	63
South Korea	3
United Kingdom	2
Kazakhstan	1

These are all the countries that have people living there that have read my blog...

I would love that, if you are reading this now, could leave a comment for me about why you read my blog, how you found it and/or if it has impacted you at all... 

I am intrigued that so many people from other countries read my blog and would love to hear from you!

Thank you!

Intensity

Intense

in•ten•si•ty (ɪnˈtɛn sɪ ti)

n., pl. -ties.

1. the quality or condition of being intense.

2. great energy, strength, concentration, or vehemence, as of activity.

3. a high or extreme degree, as of cold or heat.

4. the degree or extent to which something is intense.

5. a high degree of emotional excitement; depth of feeling.

6. the strength or sharpness of a color due esp. to its degree of freedom from admixture with its complementary color.

7. Physics. magnitude, as of energy or a force per unit of area, volume, time, etc.

A word used to describe me. A word I use to describe myself.

I see it at a compliment, but have discovered that in most cases, it is not.

I had to seriously pray about this continual attack of my character… I became angry and frustrated at the notion that, number 1, people think that they have a right to condemn the way God created me and number 2, people consider intensity as “intimidating, aggressive and what was the other word used… non-submissive.” So you can imagine, as an intense, raw, bold person I had a very long conversation with the Lord and some of my closest sisters in Christ.

This morning, after a long night of no sleep, I began to pray again and the most amazing thing happened… clarity and peace shed light on the subject.

When you are a survivor of divorce, an attempted kidnapping, sexual abuse, attempted rape, verbal abuse, physical abuse, demonic attack, church abuse and minister to people who have experienced ritualistic abuse, sex slavery, satanic abuse, spousal abuse, adultery, extreme bullying, and the aftermath of abortion… you kinda become intense…

The people, who abused me, did so by hiding, sneaking, intimidating and threatening… so when people hide behind religion and churchianity and control...intensity naturally rises up inside me. This kind of behavior gives me all kinds of red flags. I do not want to be associated with the kind of people who hide behind religion to abuse people. People who hide their true identities are cowards and I want no part of that kind of life! My intensity comes from persistently pursuing a life of blamelessness, so that I will not be likened to the condemning “Churchianity Christians.”

I am intense…but it is only an attribute of who I am. It is not WHO I am. When I feel like the church, who is supposed to give life and freedom through Christ, brings condemnation and control to the masses, I get a little intense.

Jesus was intense. I know a lot of people don’t see that Jesus. I know that Jesus is not taught in the church; it was His intensity that angered the Pharisees. It was His intensity that raised Lazarus from the dead. It was His intensity that caused blood to seep through his pores in the garden of Gethsemane. It was His intensity that made a whip, flipped tables and pushed people out of the temple. Jesus was intense. His intensity was viewed as dangerous and aggressive to those who could not control him. His intensity was considered blasphemous to the religious leaders and they were threatened by His passion to change the world.

Bill and I have been charged with similar “crimes.” We have been accused of being intimidating and “taking over” and not doing what “pastors” say. When in reality, we are passionately obeying God in areas that are unconventional or outside the comfort zone of the complacency of the church. We have been accused of “hurting people’s feelings” because we spoke the truth about the church. When in fact, we did not hurt feelings, the TRUTH hurt feelings. People do not want to be challenged in their faith. Even with monumental evidence that the Christian church is slowly dying in this country, Christians do not want to be held accountable for their complacent faith.

I “intensely” advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves or are afraid to advocate for themselves… Martin Luther was intense. Rosa Parks was intense. Martin Luther King Jr. was intense. Caesar Chavez was intense. Mother Teresa was intense. Their intensity changed the face of this planet. They all suffered as a result of their intense conviction of truth in the face of religious and political persecution. They advocated for people, stood in the face of slander, and ultimately suffered for their boldness.

My sister in Christ shared, “Jesus said, ‘we are to share in his sufferings.’ So you have to know, Teresa that you are going to suffer. But in the end, if you do the will of your father, you will be blessed.”

 Jesus was not only intense, he was also kind, compassionate, loving, convicting, forgiving, life giving, truthful, inclusive, world changing.

I am not just intense. I am so much more…

But if you only see me as intense, aggressive, intimidating, and loud…

Chances are you are threatened by the TRUTH that I express through living a transparent life.

Chances are you are fearful of my raw and authentic approach to life, that lets people into the deepest places of my heart, because you hide the deepest places of yours for fear that people might see who you really are and not like it.

Chances are you afraid of the world changer DNA that is inside of me, because it means that what you are comfortable in will be challenged or changed.

Here’s the deal… There really is no middle ground. You either love me or hate me. I am okay with that. That is how God made me. That is who I am. There is a reason why prophets of old were killed. Once they delivered the message of God that was not pleasant, they wanted someone to suffer for making them feel uncomfortable, or for hurting their feelings; usually it was the messenger. You know… “Don’t kill the messenger” or “I am just the messenger” comes from the prophets who delivered unpleasant messages to people and then suffered as a result of the message.

You may not like what I have to say; you may not like my unconventional ways; you may not like the delivery; you may not like my intensity; you may not like my honest, brutal, authentic approach to life. But here’s the deal… before you slander me, gossip about me, make assumptions about me and reprimand me about who I am in Christ… YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SOME HARD CORE BIBLICAL TRUTHS TO BACK YOUR ACCUSATIONS! I really don’t care about your religious opinions… I only care about pleasing and serving my Jesus… NO MATTER THE COST! And believe me... the cost is great! Just read my blog.

This in no way means that I am perfect or without fault. It just means that my imperfections and faults will be publicly expressed in verbal or written form, to share with the world that we have an opportunity to live blameless lives through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. I try to share my faults, shortcomings, fears, failures, joys, accomplishments and love with the masses through writing in a very raw way to encourage others to do the same. My hope is that the more people who have nothing to hide, the more healing can take place. The more healing that takes place, the more whole people become. The more whole people become, the more effective they are. The more effective people are, the more a community benefits. The more a community benefits, the more people will feel loved. And the more people feel loved, the better the world becomes…and the safer people feel about being real.

If I offend you… perhaps the Lord is trying to challenge your identity. Perhaps the Lord wants you to determine why you are being offended by someone who delights in being raw, authentic, intense and passionate…

I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed of who God created me to be. I am comfortable in my own skin and thankful that God has delivered me from the bondage of trying to be something I am not to please others… I exist to please God! Not YOU! This statement only makes religious people feel uncomfortable… not broken, hurting, real, authentic people.

I had a conversation with myself about people’s opinion of me… turns out I am okay with who I am in Christ.

The Overlooked Harvest...

In the deep crevices of society, young adults live. They are not looked at by society of people who have much value. Rather they are viewed as dependent  wild, reckless, immature, lacking wisdom, irresponsible. They gather together to find comfort or purpose amongst themselves. Some of these misfits find their purpose in things that society praises, while most are looked down upon as rebellious clowns who suck the life out of our society. The athletes are praised, the academic achiever honored, the musician patted on the back. Yet they are still a reclusive group, given very little tools to succeed and condemned when they don’t.

I see this group of misfits and I love them. I love their wild and reckless hearts, love the risks they take because they lack wisdom, I love that they still are dependent on us to love them and guide them and direct them. There is a freedom they possess that we, as a society, have lost. They are still at a place where they don’t have to conform, where they can do anything without the responsibilities of our society weighing down on them. They are a powerful bunch, these young people, who have in their hearts the desperate desire to make a difference in the world to be someone of value. Their hearts need only to be captivated by the love of Jesus; not the law of religion, not the condemnation of the followers of Christ, not the cheap knock offs of the gospel. Their minds need only to be challenged by the truth of the Bible; not the crumbs that are given, not the gimmicks that are preached, not the satellite message that lacks intimacy; Their wills need only to be trained by servants of the most high God; not leaders who are glorified, not manipulators who control, not religion that condemns.

Imagine the power this youth culture could obtain. Contemplate the reason the Lord made this age, this youthful mindset, where nothing is impossible and being invincible is the norm. It is not childish or foolish! It is planned by the Creator of our souls. He knew this age brought about destruction and foolishness and boldness and wildness. There is a purpose. Still these young adults, ages 13-25 are overlooked, forgotten in the church.

On the news the other day, there was a wanted headline for 4 young men, who had held a woman at gunpoint. They tried to kidnap her, but she resisted and the 4 young men high jacked her car. They are wanted for grand theft auto, attempted kidnapping and attempted murder. The ages of the young men… 13, 13, 14 & 17. When I read the ages and saw their pictures my heart broke! I was flabbergasted at the thought of a 13 year old boy holding a woman at gunpoint! 13 years old! It made me think about what these young people are capable of. Yes, destruction is what these boys brought, but let me change your perspective. Imagine if the truth and love of Jesus Christ drove theses young men… the destruction in their being would not go away, however, the focus of what was to be destroyed would. Instead of bringing destruction to other people, they would bring destruction to the kingdom of darkness…. Instead of holding a woman at gunpoint, they would hold the enemy with the weapons of God and bring freedom to a woman, through the power of Jesus’ love.

God created the wild and reckless behavior in the youth to benefit His kingdom! King David was one of those young men. His lack of restraint and wild faith turned a nation upside down. He killed a bear and a lion with his own hands, not very much wisdom, if you ask me. I would have flipped out on my teenage son, even if he did kill it! Yet, David trusted God with a reckless abandon that determined the rest of his life. He walked out to a battlefield and with nothing but a little faith and a lot of risk, killed a giant and started a fire that drove the Israelites to defeat the Philistines. Not even the king or his older brother, who were older and wiser dared to do such a feat. It was not until David became a man that he sinned against God.  There is also Daniel; taken into captivity by the Babylonians. He was a young man without blemish, good—looking, gifted in wisdom, possessing knowledge and quick in understanding. (Daniel 1:4) He, in his youth had wisdom, but still took a great risk by opposing the king’s provisions and requesting that they only eat vegetables and water, as to not defile himself or that of his friends with the king’s delicacies. In the end, his risk proved to be fruitful and he and his friends were more full and fit than the older men who were eating meat and drinking wine. As a result, the Lord blessed Daniel and his friends knowledge and skill in literature and wisdom and understanding in visions and dreams.

The Lord used their wild and reckless nature to glorify him!

So why then, can’t we do the same with our youth? Why then can’t we empower our young people in their culture to DO what they are already DOING, but changing the focus and the purpose of their lives?

There are many studies that show that the youth are leaving the church in a mass exodus. They are looking for purpose, they are looking for love, and they are looking for a cause. WE HAVE THE TRUE PURPOSE RIGHT HERE IN OUR HANDS, WE KNOW THE TRUE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST AND THERE IS NO GREATER CAUSE THAN SAVING LOST SOULS FROM ETERNAL DAMNATION.

The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few.

 Matthew 9:37

The churches in American have before them, fields and fields that go on for miles and miles of a ripe harvest of youth, who are starving for love and purpose. The churches have dozens of programs, lots of resources, congregations full of spiritual fat believers who either sit in a pew or seek after their own title or power of position. The churches cater to the saved but do not seek after the lost. The focus, the visions, the meetings, the money, the power is not toward the youth, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN PROVEN AND TESTED THAT THAT AGE GROUP IS THE MOST UN-REACHED AND THE AGE GROUP THAT IS LEAVING BY THE DROVES. The “Youth Groups” are there, in most cases, as an obligatory place to appease the adults who attend the church. In most churches, the “Youth Ministry” is given one of the smallest budgets and is required to do much of their own fundraising. I have not met many people who are youth ministers who are called to be youth ministers, but rather a place that is a stepping stone to climb up the corporate church ladder to a higher position in the church. There has not been much adjustment in the church, since I was a youth. It pretty much looks the same, spiritually. Sure the postmodern/emerging church has changed the colors, turned the lights down, added some coffee and candles, but it is the same!

In most cases more focus, resources and money is given to the Children’s Church dept. then to the youth. When, in fact, elementary aged kids HAVE to come to church with their parents. Even the youth that HAVE to come to church have learned to easily disengage while sitting in a seat being sold the cheap knock off of the truth.

WAKE UP CHURCH!!! Where is the harvest? Do you know what happens to a harvest that is NOT reaped? Have you seen what happens to the crop? The fruit falls to the ground, rots and becomes part of this world. How many youth are longing to be harvested, but just falls to the ground, rots and becomes a part of this world?

WAKE UP CHURCH! Where is the harvest? Do you know what happens to a harvest that IS reaped? It gets put into a basket with other fruit, bright and full of life and become nourishment to the world.

What is your church doing to reap the harvest that is plentiful?

Don't want to waste my life...

Notebooks, pens, conversations and scribbles on paper is howwe dream. We call it our Dream Notebook. Every idea, dream, vision, hope orcreative inception is written down on one of many spiral notebooks that stackin my room. The reality of those dreams is an entirely different dimension ofthought and action, however. When I process the amount of time, effort, faithand resources it will take to accomplish a dream, the thought almostdebilitates me. Not because I have fear or don’t believe it can be done; on thecontrary, I know it can! It is the cost that keeps me from moving forward withanything that comes my way. The cost of time, the cost of friendships, the costof investment, the cost of loneliness, the cost of ridicule, the cost emotions,the cost of material things.

I know the cost. I know how much a person can lose forfollowing a dream, personally. I have seen a dream come to life and thenwatched in horror when that dream died. It cost my family everything. That iswhat keeps my husband and me from rushing. That is what keeps our feet firmlyplanted on the ground. So we question ourselves as a result. Do we have what ittakes? How will this affect our family? Will people come to Lord as a result ofthis vision? Where do we start? Will people support us? Will people believe inwhat we are doing? Will we be doing this alone? How will we get youth to come?

The chatter in the mind is loud and we are trying to keep itquiet. It is amazing how words of encouragement can sustain even the weariestsoul, the most doubtful mind and the loneliest souls. Feelings of inadequacies constantlyrise to the surface and I must tell them to be silent. All we can do is walk,one foot in front of the other, believing that we are doing what God has calledus to do. Believing that he will equip us, believing that he will show us theway. Trusting that He will pay the price when the cost is too great for us tocarry.

We take one step and then another and another. It lookslonely so far, it looks impossible. Yet I know my God can comfort, I know thewith God nothing is impossible! Those are the things I hold onto. Those are thereasons we take another step toward the dream, on this adventure.

“This is the promisethat empowers us to take risks for the sake of Christ. It is not the impulse ofheroism, or the lust for adventure, or the courage of self-reliance, or theneed to earn God’s favor. It is simple trust in Christ-that in Him, God will doeverything necessary so that we can enjoy making much of him forever. Everygood poised to bless us, and every evil arrayed against us, will I the end helpus boast only in the cross, magnify Christ and to  find in our own experience that it is betterto lose our life than to waste it.

Therefore, it is rightto risk for the cause of Christ. It is right to engage the enemy and say, ‘Maythe Lord do what seems good to him.’ It is right to serve the people of God,and say, ‘If I perish, I perish!’ It is right to stand before the fiery furnaceof affliction and refuse to bow down to the gods of the world. This is the roadthat leads to fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. At the end of everyother road--secure and risk-free—we will put our face in our hands and say, ‘I’vewasted it!’"

John Piper – Don’t Waste Your Life

Revolution

Revolution

Noun

1.       A forcible overthrow of a government or social order for a new system.

2.       A radical and pervasive change in society and the social structure, especially on made suddenly and often accompanied by violence

3.       A sudden, complete or marked change in something.

The word sounds dangerous, almost anarchist. Synonyms includes the words: anarchy, destruction, innovation, insurgency, metamorphosis, mutiny, overthrow, radical change, rebellion, reformation, reversal, revolt, rising, shake-up, shift, strike, subversion, transformation, turbulence, turnover, underground, unrest, upheaval, uprising, uproar, violence.

I looked up the word the other day after praying for our youth. I heard the Lord say, we were going to start a revolution. Not the kind you might think of, but a revolt against the oppression of this world, against the darkness that is closing in. The revolution will be established in our youth in this country. It will be world changing. The result with be a new social structure and order of young people coming together to impact the future in such an incredible way that the natural byproduct of their actions will result in a change in not only government, but schools, churches, homes and society. I will be radical and pervasive. Young people pushing back the darkness, which has gotten comfortable here in this country; it will be intense and violent. Not physically violent, as Jesus was not physically violent, but spiritually violent. The youth will enter the war at hand against the evil that is rolling over this nation like a thick fog.

“From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and violent men take it by force.” Matthew 11:12

Violence

Noun

1.       Swift and intense force

2.       Rough or injurious physical force, action or treatment

The word sounds like the opposite of love. Yet the only way a follower of Christ can take the kingdom of heaven violently is with love. It is that love that becomes the violent force against the kingdom of darkness. Love swiftly and intensely overtakes wickedness. By proclaiming love and acting in love, we are waging war against all that is wicked in this world. In the process of waging war, there is a necessity to take stands that are dangerous and even life threatening. In order to bring about “Revolution” in love, there will be injuries and sometimes rough encounters with darkness. We as seasoned Christians in this country are not very familiar with this kind of faith. We have been handed a wimpy version of God’s Word and a powerless doctrine. We have been sold a bag of goods that says, “As long as we are morally upright and good, then we are good Christians.” It is the lie Satan has been telling God’s people for thousands of years. There is no power in Christ, being intense and violent is “bad” and “evil.” When in reality, God created us to be violently opposed to the kingdom of darkness.

As I list the synonyms, think about the words in regards to waging war against the kingdom of darkness: assault, attack, brutality, clash, destructiveness, disturbance, ferocity, fierceness, harshness, onslaught, passion, raging rampage, roughness, ruckus, rumble, severity, storm, struggle, tumult, turbulence, uproar, vehemence, wildness.

Similar words were used to describe John the Baptist and Jesus in their time. The Romans and the Pharisees saw them as a “disturbance”, as “destructive”, an “attack” on their ways. When they preached and healed people they were accused of causing a “ruckus”, an “uproar” and causing “turbulence” in the cities they were in. John the Baptist was described as “wild” and Jesus was described as “passionate.”

My husband I met a young man about 2 years ago. He was traveling with a pastor, who is extremely radical and full of intense faith. He was a “Timothy” to the pastor and I watched as this young man was given the opportunity to learn and grow before my very eyes, as he stood on the stage “practicing” his faith. It was a beautiful orchestra of spiritual music that is rare in today’s church. His name is Chase. I saw “world changer” all over him. His youthfulness was being tempered by intentional mentoring and he was receiving it. Bill and I prayed over him in the areas of weakness we saw and have kept in contact with him since. We pray for him as the Lord leads and I receive his newsletter and am friends with him on Facebook. He gave the ministry he is doing a name and I have seen it before, but it never really had any impact on me until the Lord gave me the word “Revolution.” The name he gave the ministry he is doing is “Love Revolution.” What? Love Revolution? A revolution in love!?!? A counter-cultural movement of love to bring about revolution. Not the hippy, LSD, sex with everyone kind of movement. We are talking about He who is Love, Jesus. He who created Love, God. He who spreads the Love, the Holy Spirit.

Love

Noun

1.       A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

2.       A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend

3.       Passion or desire

4.       God (1 John 4:8)

Similar words are: affection, allegiance, appreciation, attachment, cherishing, delight, devotedness, emotion, enjoyment, fervor, fondness, friendship, inclination, involvement, passion, regard, respect, sentiment, taste, tenderness, worship, yearning, zeal

Love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8). Not guilt, not condemnation, not even punishment. LOVE… Love is what changes, not war, not guns, not protests… LOVE.  Love is true and powerful, when rooted in the Creator of this universe, God. LOVE was demonstrated to a maximum by Jesus when he took on all the sin of the world, because He loved us. There was no shame or blame or condemnation in His sacrifice, only LOVE. Love is the most violent weapon against the kingdom of darkness and it the weapon we will teach the youth to use in every situation.

Bill and I were talking about the fact that so many young people are being abducted right now. Older kids in Jr. High and High School are coming up missing every day. As we were discussing this “Revolution” we hope to lead a vision popped into my head:

Imagine a group of youth who want someplace to belong, something to fight for, and something to believe in. This social justice, globally aware, forgotten generation could revolt against the sex slavery movement with a vengeance and overtake this wicked movement with a violent intensity that would change this whole world. I saw them waging war on the sex slave movement, working together with complete confidence and resolve. I saw them walking behind veterans who were caring guns to protect them from the evil that they were walking into. I saw them in masses, like ants who, by sheer number alone took down a regime of sex crazed filth. I saw them have purpose, fearlessness, faith and determination to bring freedom to the captives in this world. I saw them understand the power of God, freely give the love of Jesus and completely utilize the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Changing the World.

This journey we are on has prepared us for this… Absolute and total resolve in the fact that Jesus is our Savior, we will share His love with all we encounter and we will be authentic in our weaknesses, shortcomings and faults. It has prepared us for this moment in time, when all we have done, dreamed and envisioned is right before us and all we have to do is jump. It is that time, that moment when we commit to the reality that this is what we were made for; this is what we are called to do. It is frightfully beautiful, insanely peaceful, and ridiculously purposeful.

If you would like to support this mission, please contact us. We have many needs that you can help us with. Our only car died, so that is an immediate need.We are also looking for a laptop. 

 If you would like to give a donation to help us start a “Revolution” you can send it to:

Bill & Teresa Beukers

7845 South Fruit Ave

Fresno, CA 93706

or

You can donate online

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