Confessions of a Nobody #3 - Legacy of the ones taken too soon

His name is Marquis Sutton. I never met him. I never knew anything about him.

The sun was setting and the glow was dancing orange hues over the worn down stadium in Easton, Ca where my son was practicing football. I had come early to watch him practice with the new coach, and see how the team was doing.

To the left of me on the stadium stairs were a few of Elijah’s teammates sitting together, huddled close and talking quietly. One of the players put his hands in his face and another put his arm around him. I could sense the tension in the air, the sorrow, and continued to observe their actions. I scanned the field to see if I could make out the reason behind the sorrow, but could not pick up what was going on.

We had just started to settle into Easton. I was just started to get to know the players and the community. I knew these boys names, but don’t even think I had a conversation with them. I felt compelled to talk to them, as my mothering heart could not take the pain of these young people any longer.

“Is everything ok?” I asked intrusively.

The young man with his hands in his face, didn’t even look up at me. “I can’t believe he’s gone,” he said, “I just can’t believe it.” The other boys pulled in closer to the young man, as he began to cry.

“What happened?” I asked the friends standing near him, in the most compassionate tone I could acquire.

“Bruh, our boy was shot. They was playing Russian roulette or something. Like What The F@#k. Who does that?” There was a somber silence, then he continued, “That boy was gonna ball in the pros, man.” He shook his head in disappointment and then stopped talking.

“Is he from Washington Union?” I asked.

“Nah bruh, he from Edison.”

I did not know what to do. I had only heard of shootings on the news. The victims were just faces and names of an unfortunate situation, but had no bearing on my life. I had never been in a place where a shooting hit so close to home. I didn’t really know how to comfort them or what to say. I asked if I could pray for them, and they said yes. My prayer seemed feeble and ignorant, not able to grasp the pain they were overcome with.

I walked away and sat back down on the bleachers to wait for practice to end. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It covered me like a shadow. I could not escape the reality. These boys, these young men knew this boy from Edison. They were friends, grew up together, had relationship with him. He was not just some name and face on the news. He was a part of their life.

Having homeschooled my children, and participating in home church, we kept our children close to home. Most of our friends homeschooled and home churched too. So this new life, of being in community with people who did not share my way of life, was perplexing.

When practice was over, we drove home and I asked Elijah if he had heard about the incident. He said that some of the players were crying and couldn’t practice, but didn’t really know what happened. When I got home, I searched the internet for a young football player who was shot from Edison, to see if I could get more information. I saw a news report and read it. My heart ached. It pained deep. The LORD was giving me a burden to pray for the families and friends of this young man. I had never experienced this kind of intercession before, to pray for people I did not know personally, but the calling was deep and personal. I prayed for hours and days for this family. My heart grieved for a young man, I never even met, for his family, whose names I did not know. This grief felt personal and real and my heart ached with a deep intensity.

I looked him up on facebook to see if I could get some more information. I saw pictures and read stories about this young man, wondering what he was like. I was blessed by the words that people were writing, a living memorial, solidifying his legacy in words and blessings. I was overcome with emotion and there I was, writing on his wall too… I dont know what I said, but I remember promising you that I would do my best to reach young people, so that more lives would not be lost.

Marquis, I have fulfilled that proclamation. Actually, both my husband and I have. After that, my husband started a Bible Study for young men, to find a safe place to go, to laugh, cry, eat, play and get to know Jesus, that only one who can deliver us from the pain of the world. It grew and grew, the Bible Study, and the ministry. We started a Friday night Open Gym, to give young people a positive, safe place to go and hang out. The Bible Study now includes young woman as well.

I wish we could do more.

I often speak about you, and how your death was the inspiration for what we do today. It changed our lives and the lives of so many young men. Your light was not snuffed out when you died, it grew brighter. It is in every young man we minister to, help, encourage and inspire.

This past Friday, two young people I knew personally were shot and killed, Kayla DeBorde and William Harris. I knew them, had relationship with them, loved them, laughed with them, mentored them, did life with them. They were taken from this earth for no good reason. I have been in such pain, personally and also for the families that are let behind. My heart aches in the deep reaches of my soul.

At the Candlelight prayer vigil, you came to mind again. You inspired the words that came out of my mouth. You were remembered at their prayer vigil too, as I encouraged and challenged others to not snuff out the light that was in these two beautiful people, but to carry it on, let it grow brighter, go farther and last longer in the legacy of our lives and those after us. That is what we did for you, Marquis, me and my husband. We carried your legacy with us, even to the young people and families that were grieving William and Kayla.

I think back to the young boys who were grieving you that day that found out you were gone. Now, I know that pain. I feel it today, as I write this. My heart feels broken from the senseless violence that stole the legacy these young people were supposed to live out. Yet, in this pain and sorrow. I will continue to let their light shine in me as well. I will shine their lights too, for all the people I encounter. I will remember them, as I remembered you.

 I never met you, Marquis, but you left an everlasting impact on my soul.  You, William and Kayla will continue to live on in the ministry we do, in the lives we encounter, in the stories we tell.

I look forward to meeting you in heaven and seeing my sweet friends William and Kayla too. 

Marquis Sutton

Kayla DeBorde

William Harris

Our 2015 Grand Adventure

This year has been a GRAND ADVENTURE. A life that happens when you surrender to Jesus.

We hit 2015 running, having just moved into a new house. We had to leave our beloved Fruit house of 4 years, because the landlords wanted to sell. It was bitter sweet… on one hand, we were excited about the new adventure; on the other hand, we did not want to say goodbye to our home.

January started with what became our last trip to the Beukers Family Beach house of 60 years, for Noah’s 16^th Birthday. We made many memories that will last many generations. Back in Fresno, Carah acted in her first full length musical, “Legally Blonde” with her longtime friend Ethan Rij. Noah was finishing up his soccer season and Carah was in the middle of her club volleyball season and finishing up her school basketball season.

 

Our lives took an incredible turn when we met 3 other local missionaries. One missionary takes inner-city kids on tours to see colleges and we were given an incredible opportunity to take our kids and go to UC Berkeley. Another missionary family, lived in the heart of one of the most impoverished and violent parts of Fresno and we were grafted into their family and received great missionary training through Kairos and Perspectives. The last missionary, has really embraced and mentored us. He runs the Fresno School of Missions and fully empowers us to do God’s will. These experiences changed our perspective of ourselves and how we see the world.

In February, we started a youth outreach open gym night in Easton and close to 50 students would show up on Friday nights. We were on our 3^rd year of running RAW’s Real Talk Bible Study and many young men were coming to know Jesus. By the end of the month, one of those young men, Bubba, came to live with us. Another adventure that grew our family to look more like Jesus. We learned how to love in a situation that was hard and unfamiliar. We understood what AGAPE love means in a way we never did before.



By March, our family was in full swing with sports and school and church. Elijah was engulfed in his last college semester as a freshman. Noah was running track and playing baseball. Carah was in the midst of her Model and Talent training.. Bill finished coaching soccer and started coaching track at the Middle School Carah attends. We celebrated Easter with new friends, our godsons, some of our Bible Study kids and neighbor. A picture of the reason why we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

 

By the time April hit, we had another unexpected guest come to live with us, Rob. Rob was one of the first young men to attend our Bible Study 3 years ago. He had some issues with his family and was kicked out of his house. We also had a short term guest, who was displaced when his family lost their home. So our family of 5 was now a family of 8. It was never quiet in my house. LOL. Our home became a safe haven for many and often we would have up to 10 people at our table for dinner. Many times, Bill and I would sit back and thank God for opportunity to create a lasting legacy in the lives of our children and others.

In May, Bubba went back home to live with his mom and our short term guest moved to his new house. Noah was on his way to Valley in track and Carah finished up her softball season. Elijah finished his first year in college and started training with the football coaches at Reedley College for the following year. Both Elijah and Noah went to prom with friends from Central High and had a blast!

June was busy. Noah ran in the Valley Championship, the only student from his high school, and got 11^th place. (He was running with a sprained ACL, so we were all pleased with the outcome). Carah graduated from 8^th grade and was valedictorian and won an award for highest achieving in math. Rob also graduated from high school and was blessed by many people with gifts, including senior portraits. We celebrated longtime friend Ryan Rij’s graduation and (another actress in the making) Gracie Morrow’s too. We headed to the Bay Area, were we were able to go to Bill’s lifelong friend, Kevin Baker’s wedding; after a weekend at Morrow Bay for a football tourney. We got to spend time with Bill’s family and godparents, and then headed up to Lake Tahoe for a family vacation. We had Elijah, Rob, Noah, Carah and Ethan. We stayed in a house with Bill’s sister and partner Rebecca and got the amazing privilege of meeting their soon to be adopted daughter Minnie. Another family reunion in Sacramento, and we were blessed to see Bill’s moms side of the family and back home to Fresno. Once back we had the privilege of baptizing 4 young men, who made a commitment to follow Jesus Christ.

 

July hosted lots of fun with 4^th of July memories, a trip to see Bon Qui Qui with Ninon and Ethan (a birthday gift), and Carah going to summer camp for the first time. Elijah turned 19, Bill turned 44 and I passed the 40 mark, at 41. Noah and Elijah were in full blown training for football and Rob was job hunting.

August was incredible. Carah attended her LA Agents Showcase and was an extra in the movie “Victory by Submission.” Our well went dry and we were without water for almost a month. School started with Carah starting high school; Noah a junior; Elijah a sophomore in college; and Rob decided to take a semester off to work. Carah started cheerleading, Noah and Elijah started football; and Bill and I started working with Cen Cal Mentoring, mentoring at risk youth at a continuation school. We were given an amazing opportunity to go to Haiti/Congo on a mission’s trip with our RAW group and will start fundraising in 2016.

September hosted football games every Friday and Saturday; Carah auditioning for movies, commercials and modeling, See You at the Pole, 2 weddings and Rob getting a job at the SPCA. Car troubles, both cars died on us… being blessed by a new car. The big event was Carah getting her braces off after 4 years!

 

 October was full-fledged. Bill was freshman head football coach, working for a landscaping company, Cen Cal Mentoring, our RAW ministry and doing strength and conditioning. Fresno Fair was a big part of our life this year, as our neighbor, who is FFA President had Carah and Noah working hard. Carah received an opportunity to win a car with her 4.0 status and Rob got his license. Noah went to the Sadie Hawkins Dance with our neighbor. Bill and Noah took some of our Real Talk Bible Study Boys to see the premiere of Woodlawn and meet the actors. We had to say goodbye to Rob, who decided to move to Kentucky to live with his brother.

 

 November was Carah’s 14^th birthday. WE saw some crazy phenomenon in the sky… some said rocket, others said meteor, others said alien… we just saw WOW!!! Carah and I volunteered at Winter Jam and got to meet some of the artists. We were startled by the news that Rob was attacked and almost died. He had a stab wound to his head, along with a fractured skull, a blood clot on his brain and wounds to his face. Bill’s sister gave up her air miles to get him home, where he would be safe and could heal. The startling news continued when I received a phone call that one of our close homeschool family friend’s 11 year old son had died. He was really close to Noah and the new shook us to the core. We celebrated Koltyn’s life and were thankful we were blessed to know him. We stayed home for Thanksgiving, since Noah’s football team made the playoffs. We got to go to the Bay Area and partake in the annual Thanksgiving weekend Stanford game with grandma and papa. We had only one car, as Elijah’s car broke down and we were given a car, which was such a gift for not only our family, but our ministry. I participated in the Old Town Clovis Flea Market for the second year in a row with Joanne Castillo (one of my adopted moms) and my good friend Rachel Morrow.

                                  

December was no different than the rest of the year… busy and adventurous. I was given a unique opportunity to help my friend decorate her house for the Annual Children’s Hospital Home tour. I got to go on the Home Tour with my surrogate mom, Joanne Castillo, and made awesome memories. Noah’s football team made it to the Valley Championship Game and we were so excited! After a very close game, we lost in the last 30 seconds of the game, when a ball was dropped on the 10 yard line, which would have won the game. It was very emotional, but we were so proud of all the young men for their character. Carah started on JV basketball. Rob was healing well and got a job at Big Potato Market, the local grocery store in our little country town. Noah and Carah went to Formal with their good friends, Ethan, Callie and Kameron. Noah got blessed and went to the Raider/Kansas City game with his good friend Marissa. Noah was awarded MVP, 1^st Team running back, 1^st Team lineman and Defensive Player of the Year. We all awaited the premiere of Star Wars, Episode 7, The Force Awakens. Our family is full on Star Wars geeks. We had a surprise Star Wars party for Carah and had a movie marathon to prepare us for #7. Elijah waited in line for 30 hours and was on the new about 4 times. We had a blast and the premiere was so exciting!!!

 

Now, as we close this amazing year of hope, renewal and adventure, our sights are set on the glorious journey that awaits us. We are so very THANKFUL for all the people who invested in our ministry with their time, gifts, and monthly support. One of our biggest supporters are Bill’s parents who make so much of this possible. They have given so much, so that we can, in turn, change people’s lives.

 If you would like to be part of this journey, there are many ways you can help:

1. We are taking a group of 20 students on a mission trip and will be doing fundraisers throughout the year. Please keep your eyes open for ways to support these young people to experience a life changing opportunity to serve others.
2.    You can also volunteer on Friday nights, by just coming and playing basketball, dodgeball, board games or any other ideas you may have to give the youth a safe place to go on Friday nights.
3. You can also volunteer on Wednesday nights by providing dinner, speaking to our youth, leading worship, or just come to build relationships and mentor.
4.  We also need help with transportation, getting students to and from events. We are saving for a 9 passenger van. If you would like to donate towards the purchase of the van, please let us know.

Thank you so much for partnering with us in life, prayer, support and ministry

The Beukers Family

Beukers Family Year in Review

A Clearing....

Computer broke, so I am coming at you from an ipod... One thumb typing away!

For years life has been a blur and we have been in a fog! We have faithfully walked by faith, blinded by what was in front of of us or around us. We have stumbled, we have wandered and we have just sat still! All the while waiting for some sort of clearing or lifting to occur! 

Today, when I woke up and sent my hubby and boys off to a football camp, I realized that the fog was getting lighter and the sun was pushing its way through! I could see! I see the road ahead of us! I know which way we are going! 

Bill is starting a Bible Study for the football players after practice; I am doing a Bible study with some girls from WU; Elijah will be a Senior and is so focused and committed I am in awe! He is about 2 months from getting his license and is becoming an amazing young man! Noah is starting his Freshman year at WU and is playing football. He has overcome soooooo much with his dyslexia that he got a 3.53 GPA! Carah is cheering this year and will be really focusing on her acting dream. I will be homeschooling her this year to be available to drive her to LA for auditions. We will also put her in a league track group so she continue to work on her high jump! 

Bill is starting a new business and I am going to the Biggest Loser (well in my mind anyway). I will be doing the Biggest Loser diet and exercise at home and blogging about my daily experiences.

We are still church planting here in Easton, just letting it happen organically! Trusting Gods timing and grace! Still experiencing some persecution from "religious" leaders... But feel blessed for God's protection. He is hiding us and I am grateful!

Thanks for your continued support and prayers!