Worship

What does that mean exactly? I grew up going to church and first we had worship and then the announcements and then the sermon. Worship, to me, was songs you sang at church. I wanted to be a worship leader one day, because I loved to sing the songs that were sung in church and it was the closest I felt to God.

When I was 18 years old, I decided that I was no longer going to go to church and research other religions to be sure this religion I was raised with was the truth. I was in love with a young man who was Mormon and I wanted to know what the difference was between his religion and mine. That led to a year long journey of self discovery and intellectual awareness of other religions. I read for hours and prayed to this all knowing, all powerful being, asking for his/her direction to the truth. My young and wild heart ached to know if there was, in fact, a reason for my worship; if this God was even worthy of being worshipped. I was intelligent enough to know that we did not evolve from some cosmic chaos, but that there was an infinite creator who had brought this world into existence. I just did not know which avenue of faith was the truth about this creator.

By the time I was nineteen, I had studied many religions, but realized that the truth was the God of the Bible. That Jesus was, in fact, the Savior of this world and this was a religion of love and truth, not condemnation and hate. (Although, some Christians preach that...even though it is not truth). I had to wrap my mind around what worshipping this God meant. What did it look like. How was I supposed to do it? 

It wasn't until recently that I have come to a pure and truthful understanding of what true worship is...

We were recently invited to attend a prophetic worship conference. My entire family went to experience whatever it was that God would have for us. Within 5 minutes it was easy to discern that this was an event that was meant to evoke emotion in the human psyche that fed the soul and tricked the mind into believing that there was some secret way to “tap” into the heavenlies to experience God. The worship leader was instruction people what to do and how to “let go” to experience the fullness of God. I looked around the room and everyone was swaying and moving their arms around to “experience” God in a way that could only happen in this way.

I looked over at my kids. My daughter, who can easily discern the atmosphere, was angry, she said, “This is boring mama.” My boys were chuckling at the theatrics of it all. My oldest, who is black and white with no gray said, “I DO NOT WORSHIP LIKE THIS!” and with conviction stood against the wall with his arms crossed. My middle son, who is sensitive to the spirit of God, was quiet and observed the crowd, carefully taking it in, trying to determine the heart of it. My husband in persistent prayer, waiting to see if something was going to change. I was pissed, like my son, at the abuse of leadership, in their manufactured “experience” of worship.

We left. The kids were so thankful. We talked for almost an hour about what true worship is. We talked in depth about different expressions of worship, different genres of worship, and different perspectives of worship. We talked about how people worshiped God in the Bible. What “sacrifice of praise” means.

Worship is expressed in ways that cannot be controlled or taught or manufactured. It is expressed in the way we live. In how we see the world, in how we respond to adversity. It is expressed in the pain and the joy, the love and hate. It is demonstrated in ways that we sometimes miss.

We worship God when we are walking and notice something beautiful in nature, and stop to delight in the wonder of it. We worship God when we are thankful for our children and cherish their little intricacies. We worship God when we anger overtakes us at the injustice of this world. We worship God with the tears that fall down our faces when we lose someone we love. We worship God in the sports we play, when we give our all and depend on the gifts he gave us. We worship God in the jobs we go to; when we do things we do not want to do and suffer at the hand of our authorities. We even worship God in the raising our fists to him with explicit words flying towards the heavens in rage, because there is an intimacy there that the Lord desires to have with us. In all of our range of emotions and experiences, the fact that we include this Creator, this God, and our Jesus into our everyday lives is a form of worship that is often overlooked.

Yes, singing about the goodness of God is a form of worship. It is a way to express our gratitude and love in song with music. But it is only one form of expression. I am learning how to soak in His goodness, delight in his acceptance of my sinful being; appreciate the blessings, praise Him in the trial; fall in His presence, surrender into his arms. This is worship.

The worship we experience in church is just a type of worship. It is like writing a love letter to the one you love; or a love song. It is a memoir, if you will, a record of the great and marvelous things that our Lord has done. It is a poetic utterance of gratitude and love for this Creator, who gave us life.